Finding Ease When Things Feel Hard

Sourcing touch points of pleasure and making small wins when the weight of the world compounds

What’s inside this letter —

An honest new moon check-in

Things I’ve been doing to reground and come back to present when I’m feeling overwhelmed

Reflection prompts for your consideration

Dear Reader,

Friday ushered in a new lunar phase in the watery, big-feelings sign of Cancer. The thematics of this dark moon — things hidden yet to be revealed and riding the crabby current of emotions — have surely been palpable this week (tell me I’m not alone). If life is consistent in one thing it’s the juxtaposition of beauty and joy existing parallel to hardship and grief at all times. This is certainly true across our global collective and too can be felt within the smaller worlds of our individual bodies and hearts. Sometimes it’s too much to carry.

This week, in this country, has been a reminder that it is possible to love and to criticize and to rage and to feel deep-seated unease and, still, to hope. While these feelings are unpopular to express in the new-age world of wellness — where the worst F word is fear — I believe in them (in moderation) as anchors to our humanity, as points of connection and as catalysts toward co-creating the life we desire, if wielded the right way. To stay aware informs how we show up but the compounding effects of feeling the world’s burdens must be managed or it dares to swallow us up.

My antidote to this overwhelm is to get really small, for a moment, for a day, for as long as it takes to regulate. I narrow the lens of my life to focus on the present — my home space, my close relationships, my writing. This week especially I’ve been finding solace in the littlest things, in things I know are within my capacity to improve, to beautify, to manage and that offer the simplest pleasures and peace. This has looked like —

Fresh bud vases of puakenikeni and gardenia on both sides of the bed to lull us to sleep at night

Repairing our goats’ shelter so they’re safer and happier

Tidying the outside space around our home and spending more time there

Purchasing an on-sale lounge chair as a perch for slow summer mornings

Evening bocce (ball chasing cat included)

Rewatching a favorite movie from childhood that evokes beloved summer time feelings

Candlelight after sundown

Fresh strawberries and maple syrup whipped cream (with a touch of rose water, chef’s kiss)

Weekly money dates

Walks with friends

These things are not merely distractions for the sake of avoidance but grounding stones to help me find my gratitude and safety and source my joy when things feel hard. Simple, humble experiences, tasks and gestures with big impact, they are things that feel like small wins, things that soothe and delight and things that care for my inner child.

Cancer season and this Cancer new moon invite us to feel it all and protect our energy as acts of self love. Overwhelm can reveal to us where our boundaries are. The theme of this time is the reminder to operate within the limits of our emotional capacity and, when needed, to refill our cup so that we can meet the world again.

Reflection

What is weighing on your heart and mind? Perhaps close your eyes and allow whatever comes up.

Which of these things actually requires your immediate, direct attention? What is in the scope of your control? What is not?

What is a task you can complete today that could feel like a small win?

What are your touch points of simple pleasure and joy today? These should be things that are readily accessible to, perhaps seemingly ordinary but are little things to look forward to.

What in your life right now makes you feel safe? Try closing your eyes and breathing deeply while you list these silently to yourself.

Take good care.